oak, chocolate

so this is the milk i drank today. this is also the first of the milk reviews so i'm going to try a header-based format first:

NAME: 25%

i don't like the name "OAK". it makes me think the milk is going to be all woody. maybe some bark floating around in there. brings forward images of whisky/whiskey etc. due to the affiliation of oak with whiskey barrels - which i don't want to be thinking about when i drink milk. i want to be thinking about milk.

LOOKS: 20%

i don't like the packaging. i don't like that it says it's "SINCE 1967". i've never liked products that state how old they are as if that makes them better. unless they're really old and you smack "est." before the year. i would say anything in the 20th century is too new. so "est. 1897" is fine; but "since 1967" isn't. plus hasn't milk production advanced since 1967? i also don't really like the bubbles. is one of the best things about milk the bubbles? for me it's not. overall the carton design is dated. additionally the red text scares my amygdala into thinking of blood and hence danger.

TEXTURE: 90%

a good texture. not too thick, not too thin. this one will slide straight up a straw, no questions asked, but won't be confusing your mouth into thinking your drinking water.

TASTE: 90%

very tasty indeed. and that's coming from someone who doesn't really like chocolate. the taste was very chocolaty without harshing on your taste-buds like sour dark chocolate.

FINAL (NaA*): 75%

this milk is massively hampered by its packaging, brand and name. i have honestly held off on buying this milk because i just couldn't stop thinking of deciduous trees every time i looked at it. it is not sexy or sweet or flash or cool or anything positive really. it's just a bit 90s. but when you get past the outer gown and undress this milk you are rewarded for your (hopefully temporary) lack of visual scruples by a smooth, full-flavoured and deeply satisfying milk.

YES/NO?

definitely try this milk. maybe down a couple of UHTs to get your "milk goggles" on first to help you get past the displeasing carton art, silly name and dangerous-looking font. ultimately tell yourself that which everyone already knows: "you don't have to look at the mantelpiece when you're drinking the flavoured milk".

COMMENT:

if you're serving up milk at a social event (e.g. dinner party, baby shower, record label launch party, etc.) this is the milk for you. you can decant the milk before the event starts into individual glasses or a jug and let people enjoy the taste without seeing the packaging. if you're aiming to cruise the town, trying to pick up friends and aim to be sipping on a milk to attain that "cool edge": look else where.

*Not an Average